Thursday, September 15, 2011

Hatespeech at the religious retreat of Gustaf Hideout

The Society gathered at the Gustaf's Hideout 9th - 11th of September 2011 Anno Domini

For some unknown reason the Society squashed to Sir Williams warSaab and began an incredible journey to a small cabin located somewhere in Southern Finland, yet the excact location was kept in secresy even from the members themselves. Rainbows and unicorns spurred them on their way and everyone knew that they took part of something best described as "legendary".

It was friday evening as they reached the hideout. After unpacking their gear, they began their mission of full ablution by playing Dungeons & Dragons until midnight. As the days chores were fullfilled, it was time to take up the booze, and rest of the evening was filled with drunken "hatespeech." It was collectively agreed that xXx2 was utter shit, whereas Demi Moore's  full-of-life eighties "classic" "About Last Night..." was solid gold, even though we missed every single sex scene!

As friday night was concluded with two episodes of That 70's Show about 04.00am, saturday morning started 0830am with a montage-theme song from Disney movie "Mulan". Following this epic start, the gentlemen contended with D&D once again, and did not stop not until twelve hours later. Then began what everyone were waiting for. The Meat Feast! An incredible carnival of carnal lust! Everyone feasted with tremendous amounts of meat and beer, and as the feast concluded the Sauna was ready to bathe our brave carnivores. Ominous fullmoon greeted the gents as they plummetted to cold embrace of sea, howling like wolves at the moon.

meat feast
Later, as the troupe returned to the cabin, fresh & clean and drunk, a movie viewing began, as the The Rock exploded into everyones consciousness. King Jannek roamed the dreamlands while others watched the movie, he was feeling quite sick. After the movie, several rounds of Tekken 5 sobered even poor mister Jannek, while others continued on their trek to Greater Drunkeness.

As the mortal brawling proved to boring, new ways of drunken activity had to be invented, and so came the King & Slave, König und Neger: Die Negerkriegs in the reichlanguage. The basic principles of the game were introduce in the Cabinmeet Vol.1 almost excactly a year ago, and this time the Gents added the Negerkriegs-expansion set, a way for the slave to work his way up, by drinking.

Here are the basic rules of  König und Neger:
The deck of cards is shuffled and dealed to the players. (When more than five players, two decks should be used to increase sheer randomness) Then everyone may sort his hand from 2's to ace's. Then the one with 2 of clubs begins by placing the card (and anyother 2's he may have) tp the center of the table. Then the players in clockwise order strike cards on the last one, providing the card is bigger than the last one ( 3's over 2's, queen's over 8's for example).
You may even strike ace's over 2's. You may also strike multiple numbers of the same size, but then everyone else has to strike equal or more in number of the same size. (For example, three 6's are on the table, next player has to strike at least three 7's).
If the player cannot or doesn't want to strike, he/she must pronounce "pass", which he/she continues to say at his turn as long he's unable or unwilling. If everyone passes, the player who stroke the last card(s) can strike whatever he likes to a clean table (this often means the lowest in size as they are the weakest). It should be noted that ace's are almost omnipotent as they are unmatchable in size, guaranteeing a clean table to the player who stroke it. Altough, you have to match the number of the last sizes in the table, three kings can be only matched with three ace's or more.

The One who first runs out of cards becomes the KING, sole champion of the round. The others continue to play until one loses by being the only one with cards in his hands. He/she becomes the SLAVE, lowest of the low. When the next round begins and the shuffled cards are once again dealt, the King gives two (or three, decided by the players in the beginning of the game) of his LOWEST cards in his hand to the Slave, who has to give equal number of his HIGHEST cards to the King. And then the player with 2 of clubs begins the round.

But now comes the fun part, the Slave may challenge the King before the cards are dealt. If the king accepts he must face the Slave in series of rounds of indianpoker, if he passes, he loses his King-status and the round starts like the beginning round of the game, no high/low cards. If the Slave wins, he becomes the King and the fallen King becomes the Slave.
The rules of these negerkrieg's are simple, both of the players lift a card from the deck to his forehead so one sees only the opponents card, and then the players either say pass of I challenge. If either one passes, sips of booze are taken and new cards are drawn. If both challenge, the one with bigger card in his forehead wins, and the one with lower loses and has to drink a shot (or other standardized measure of alcohol) of booze. The Slave always has the iniatitive as he began the wars, so he has to choose first if a undeciding stalemate is to occur.

Slave doesn't have to challenge the King, but this is recommended as he sucks otherwise. And after the negerkriegs, the cards are shuffled and dealt and the round continues until new King is crowned, or the last continues his reign (which is likely to occur without the negerkriegs, as he holds better cards).
In addition to the Challenge rules, players are encouraged to drink outrageously while they play. Questions?
After Jakubias had lost the Negerkriegs several times in a row, the evening ceased and silence reigned once again. Then came sunday, and the hangover. The warSaab launched it's ride towards civilization. Everyone sweated in terror as they knew that upcoming Vol.3 would surpass the late-Vol.2 in every single level.
More meat, more booze, more Disney montages, more everything. Oh my...

Oh yeah, and cuz the gents missed em, here's Demi Moore's breasts.